More Than False Hope

Sex addiction is the worst. Long term recovery and sobriety from sex addiction is much more elusive than that of substance based dependency. Sex addicts are powerless over not only their “acting out” behaviours, but more importantly, the control of their mind.

Progression of these thoughts and behaviours over time is what distinguishes us from normal sexual people. This craving requires us to cross new lines to simply repeat the last high, and happens with full knowledge of the consequences… in our normal brain. Sex addiction is a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde experience, the two are unaware of each other’s existence.

Sex addicts act out not out of love, intimacy or procreation, but to escape the horror of their feelings

By definition, long term sobriety is impossible for a real addict. If a person can stop or control their compulsion and obsession, they aren’t addicted, they simply have a bad habit that needs better willpower. Attending a drop in meeting for any recovery group,  we see that there are few if any people with the promised long term sobriety and recovery that some people do. Why? 

Nowhere in the Twelve Steps or the literature does it say that sobriety from real addiction is found in talk, prayer or therapy… as necessary as they are.

“As an SAA tourist, we cling to the belief that we are not really powerless and that just going to meetings … going to church or seeing a therapist … will be enough to turn things around” (SAA Basic Text)

The enormous change necessary to reduce the powerful need a sex addict has for relief from the stress and pain of daily life is the journey of a lifetime, the most difficult thing we’ll probably ever do. And most don’t, sadly.